How I know I can’t ever drink again….

Day 8 0 0

I remember how hard it was to make the decision that there’d be a day 1.

I remember celebrating everyday, every milestone, every victory.

Looking back, the first year was the easiest. I was hellbent on proving to myself that it could be done. I had to prove to myself that I was strong. It was a year full of ah-ha moments & a deeper self-discovery. It was a journey into the unknown.

I spent most of year 1 avoiding things because I didn’t think I was strong enough.

Year 2 I realized I needed to face temptations instead of just avoiding them. Year 2 could be said to be easier, only because I knew what to expect & had already started to create a routine that hinged around sobriety. But year 2 I was faced with trying to figure out who the fuck sober Mindy was as a person & as a wife. I changed. My moral compass changed. My interests changed. And I had to feel my feelings and deal with my thoughts 100%. No escaping. No avoiding. No numbing myself.

Year 2 I’ve caught myself more often than you realize fantasizing about having “just one drink”, dipping a toe into a life with alcohol, wondering what a sip of a beer or a glass of champagne would taste like. It’s like there’s this constant battle between the devil and angel that sit on each shoulder. It happens when I’m sitting alone, when I’m driving and even in my dreams.

Alcohol creates so many issues & masks so many peoples problems & ruins lives, but I understand that not everyone has a problem with alcohol or drug use like I have had a history with.

But there’s these moments of clarity that remind me of why I’ve remained sober for 800 days.

Sunday night as we were watching an episode of Dexter, there was a scene where his brother shows up to talk with 2 porterhouse steaks and a SIX PACK of beer. I mentally roll my eyes and think to myself, “WTF! What a bunch of pussies. What guy would only drink 3 beers?” And just like that I was smacked in the face with the fact that I am in fact someone who cannot have a “healthy” relationship with booze of any kind. I tell Ryan what went through my head. Rebel says “What would you bring? A 12-pack?” My response, “Nope! No less than a case …. and this is why I can never drink again!”

…. sure I could probably drink and stick to 1-2 drinks, but easily in 6-12 months, I’d be that chick buying a case of beer a day. I’ve come way to far to go backwards.

Advertisements

Goodbye 2017! Hello 2018!

And just like that, at the stroke of midnight, we said goodbye to 2017.

As I reflect back on my 36th year of my life, I’m extremely grateful.

2017 brought some unexpected twists and turns.

2017 was weird, challenging, tragic and an eye-opener.

The dynamics of the world changed & the world was struck with so many tragic events & natural disasters.

The highlights of my 2017….

. I started the first month off with a visit from Robin & Hailey & Lou who were here in TX on my birthday and our team celebrated the victorious comeback we made in 2016

.. In March, Ryan, Haylie, Rebel & I spent 6 days in Los Angeles together with friends. I got to see Rebel’s excitement, on his first commercial flight and together we had the most incredible time at the Tony Robbins event Unleash the Power Within. It was an experience I’ll never forget.

… In April Ryan & I celebrated our 8th anniversary in Honolulu, Hawaii, something we’d been dreaming of for years. I rode in a helicopter for the first time in my life & was able to check that off my bucket list.

…. 2 weeks after returning from Hawaii, I was able to take my family on our first family trip outside of the 🇺🇸 to Punta Cana. We snorkeled and swam with sharks 🦈 and stingrays.

….. in May, I celebrated my BFF ‘Manda’s birthday and 13 years of friendship 💜💕, had the honor and privilege of being selected for The Shift Shop Coach Test Group 2017 and then got to spend a whole week with my best friend, coach and mentor Becky in Miami and then attended EntreLeadership for the first time in Orlando.

…… in July, Rebel & I drove to New Orleans, Louisiana to attend my 5th “Summit” our annual coach meetup and got to spend several days with Hailey and The RELENTLESS Squad. Rebel got to see me recognized on stage in front of tens of thousands of coaches and making him proud was the best feeling ever! 💙 Later that month Ryan went to Unleash The Power Within – in New York, which proved to be something that had a great impact on our family and marriage.

…… this summer I finally decided to write a book about my life. I shouted it out to the Universe and got started on it. It’s scary to commit to something like that, but 2018 my word is FINISH. So I WILL finish it!

……. in August I took a trip solo to visit Lou in Charlotte, North Carolina for Labor Day weekend where I spent 6 days just relaxing and learning to let go of my workaholic ways & came back feeling centered and more in balance.

……… in September we celebrated my firstborn Haylie’s 18th birthday. It was purely emotional. The fact that she’s half my age and that 18 years flew by as fast as it has was so surreal. We spent the day jumping out of an airplane together (her, Ryan and I), which was symbolic on so many levels.

……… I took a position with a local company Brenham Kitchens which has given me the opportunity to get out of the house and meet new people 4-6 times a month and it’s been a fun experience for Rebel and I!

………. in October after being chosen to be part of the 80 Day Obsession Test Group, I successfully completed the 13-Week program and learned so much about myself, nutrition, my own capabilities and discovered a lot about some of the health issues I was facing.

………… in November, I attended my 5th Leadership Retreat, which was fully paid for by Beachbody based on my level of commitment and hard work and stayed at the ARIA Resort & Casino & had an incredible time with the leaders who had also qualified to attend.

………… I survived my 2nd birthday, a trip to my favorite party city (NOLA), my 3rd holiday season and faced lots of challenging & frustrating experiences & learned to attend events where alcohol was present and remained 100% SOBER! I celebrated my 798th day of sobriety on 12/31/17.

In 2017, I traveled a lot. I spent a lot of alone time doing soul searching. I reconnected with my husband as we rediscovered one another, as I became more comfortable with my sobriety. I learned to lean in, instead of avoiding uncomfortable feelings and situations. I learned to cope without alcohol and find peace with who I truly am. I learned how to let go of the things I could not and had no right to control. I learned how to ask for & accept help. I learned to say no when I needed to take care of me. I learned to face my fears. I learned to say yes to the people and things that served me. I learned how to let my guard down and give more love to receive love. I learned to stop chasing shiny things. I learned how to put myself first, my family second and my work/business third. I learned to accept that there is a higher power and discovered my spiritual side. I learned to forgive those who did the best with what they knew and had to give even if their actions caused me pain at once. I learned how to stop trying to fix things for people who didn’t ask for help. I learned so much about myself in 2017 and I know I wouldn’t have made the process I did had I not chosen to get sober on

10/25/15.

🎆 HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎆

Assistance Dogs – Recovery’s Best Friend

A dog can be your best friend while in recovery.

recovery-addiction-depression-anxiety.jpg

I just read an article about The Role of Assistance Dogs in Recovering from Substance Abuse. Individuals in recovery from drug dependence can find alternative methods such as through emotional support animals, animal-assisted therapy, and service dogs. These animals can help recovering addicts in other essential ways, such as establishing daily routines, forming healthy bonds, and providing loyal support.

Dogs are naturally gifted with a host of attributes that help their owners live longer, happier lives. They also have a long history of assisting people in difficult circumstances. In recent years, treatment protocols have expanded to take advantage of the ways that dogs can help prevent relapse and give patients in recovery a better chance at leading full, meaningful lives. There is life beyond addiction, and assistance dogs can provide a key piece of the puzzle.

15135910_1327621070604015_4833203717844808753_n.jpg

“Clients may experience lower levels of anxiety and depression, begin to experience empathy, and build a positive sense of self-worth through caring for another being. After treatment, dogs can help recovering addicts stay active, reduce stress and loneliness, and provide a sense of purpose — all of which are instrumental in preventing relapse.”

Anxiety and depression is part of addiction and recovery. If you are looking for support with your sobriety journey or battle with anxiety, please reach out. You don’t have to battle this alone.

15036659_1324679020898220_2374847801514907279_n.jpg

Addicts who turned to substance abuse because of chronic pain will also benefit substantially from working with pets. In as little as twelve minutes, researchers found that visits with therapy dogs significantly reduced self-reported pain, fatigue, and emotional distress. Therapy dogs can decrease the heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate; reduce the stress hormone cortisol; boost endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers; and benefit the immune system. Studies indicate emotional and psychosocial benefits of support animals, in addition to the task assistance that service dogs can provide.

Check out the article which outlines the research linking assistance animals to positive health outcomes, and offers examples of many ways that dogs aid the process of addiction recovery. Information about the types of assistance animals, including the training they undergo, can empower you to decide the best course of treatment for you or your loved one. Finally, a list of resources is included to help you find a support dog, or train your own pet as a service or therapy animal.

I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. 

 

 

31358_KU_associate_ads_300x250US-KCPBounty-300x250-1._V350990572_1062163_us_audible_sanamd_homestead_medium_rectangle_3_300x250

Happy Sober Anniversary to Me!

I will never forget my sobriety date: October 25th.
Why? Because it’s my husbands birthday.

Today he celebrates his 41st birthday and today I celebrate the greatest gift I could have given him, our marriage, our family and our future – MY SOBRIETY!

recovery.jpg

When I decided to get sober I was scared.
I was scared that people would laugh at me, abandon me, think I was a sell out to my old lifestyle and that I’d be all alone in my battle against my addiction.

It turns out that I was wrong. DEAD WRONG.

I have had nothing but support from old friends and lots of new friends.

Let’s just say that the sober community is a lot more supportive than party friends.

sober-messages.png

mindy-hord-2-year-sobriety-anniversary.jpg

I walked outside earlier to find a delivery 📦 box. I opened it up and found this gorgeous bouquet and a loving message from my dearest friend Jennifer. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️


My best friend, sober sister and business partner, Melissa, posted this amazing picture of us from last October when she was 30 days sober and we were attending an event in Coronado Bay, together SOBER for the first time, along with this sweet message. 

“Sober people are boring.

Sober people are lame.

Sober people get left out.

Thoughts we both shared.

Fears we both shared.

When I “met” Mindy Hord in 2013, I was instantly drawn to her party girl nature. She had a tagline about being fit and drinking beer…. Hello, I loved beer, I needed to be fit…. it was genius to me!

I got to know her through the Internet… And we’ve become the best of friends… Two years ago today she made a decision that would not only impact her life but her children’s as well… I’ve always been inspired by her strength and knew that this woman could do anything that she said her mind to… The road to Sobriety can sometimes be lonely… She was one of the first people I called when I made the decision to get sober…. I watched her for a whole year and thought how STRONG she was…..she had been there for many conversations about me quitting drinking before but I never got serious about it… Shes work hard on finding her way, I’ve seen her grow in ways she may not even realize…..She’s been a friend, a sister, A mentor, and a pillar of hope on my journey….I’m honored to know her, to share so many incredible milestones and memories with her that we remember and don’t have to delete any sloppy pictures … I’m proud to say we aren’t boring at all! How lucky are we to have such a special friendship that empowers one another to be our absolute BEST!

Next week we will meet in Las Vegas… AKA in City and be toasting our sparkling waters to the success of our teams and celebrating huge milestones in our sobriety… Congrats my friend I am beyond proud of you two years is MAJOR!!!

You continue to empower others to make changes in their lives just by being your authentic RELENTLESS self.”

sober-sisters.jpg

Today marks 2 years since I decided to break up with alcohol.

I grew up in a household where alcohol was always present. We had a liquor cabinet in our house. My Mom always drank wine. My paternal grandparents had a liquor cabinet and always brought alcohol on every trip they took me on. My grandpa brewed his own beer. My parents and grandparents loved visiting wineries & going on wine tastings… living in the wine country in Northern California it was normal. I remember alcohol being ordered every time we ate out. I remember finding alcohol stashed in the medicine cabinet of my maternal grandma. I remember my dad always joking that it was 🍺 Beer:30. I remember my Mom making wine coolers & letting me taste it. I remember taking sips off of my grandpas’ beer. Yet I don’t remember seeing any of them “drunk”, but I distinctly remember the times when I knew they had “had too much”.

I think back on all of the times I drank and drank to excess in front of my kids and wonder how it’ll affect them in the long run. All I know is that they were monumental in my decision to get sober.

 

drinking-in-front-of-your-kids-get-sober.jpg

Today is day 731 of my sobriety journey…
I can’t believe it’s been exactly 2 years since I declared my DECISION to get 100% sober.
It was a decision that I had put a lot of thought into.
But, I had put more thought into talking myself out of it.
I was so comfortable being numb. 
It was terrifying to let go of a security blanket I had been holding on to since I was a teenager.
I started drinking REGULARLY at age 15 when I left home on December 2, 1996. 20 years later on October 25, 2017, I finally parted ways with the most toxic and longest relationship I had maintained.

teen-drinking-sobriety-sober-is-the-new-black.jpg

Teen drinking is very bad.
It’s just a start to a lifetime of bad habits.
Luckily, my children don’t want to have a relationship with alcohol or drugs after hearing my story and being affected by my poor choices.
Although I’m not proud of my past or my mistakes, I’d gladly do it all over again if it meant that I’d deal with the pain and regret to shield my kids from making the same bad decisions.

 

As I was going through old pictures this week, I found all of these old pictures that represent the old me. I am wearing a fake smile in many. I may appear awake, but I was dead inside. I was there in body, but totally not present. I appeared to be the life of the party, but I was totally numb.

Around 1-2 a.m. on this day, 2 years ago, after HOURS of drinking and countless beers, several bottles of Grey Goose and whiskey, I was leaving a club in Miami, totally incoherent, totally sloppy drunk. I still don’t remember having anything that happened past midnight that night.

After a few hours of sleep, I woke up, feeling brain dead and made the declaration of my need to get sober. I shouted it out to the universe to make it real and held myself publicly accountable because it wasn’t the first time I had said I was going to get sober.

October has always been a memorable and monumental month for me.

On October 20, 1981, I entered the United States of America for the first time. On the 21st, I was handed over to strangers. On the 22nd, I was brought into a new house, that I was to call “home”.

On October 23, 2008, I was proposed to for the first time and agreed to marry my best friend who’s birthday was 2 days later and agreed to become officially “step-mom” to Hunter who’s birthday was on the 24th.

So now October 25 has become extra special. It’s not only the day the love of my life was born but today it marks TWO YEARS of SOBRIETY.

731 days of fighting old habits, old behaviors, old routines, old addictions.
731 days of celebrations. Every day I found something to celebrate and focused on the things I COULD do that I never did or couldn’t or wouldn’t do if I had still been drinking.
731 days of inner struggles.
731 days being counted one day at a time.
731 days of learning who the REAL Mindy Hord is.
731 days of CLARITY.
731 days of MINIMAL “arguments” with Ryan.
731 days of being FULLY present.

Turns out I am fun. Turns out I don’t need to have a drink to have fun. Turns out I can say no to social gatherings I don’t wanna attend vs getting buzzed in order for me to go. Turns out there are more sober people than I ever knew existed because I used to avoid people like “that”. They made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t understand them and didn’t want to. Turns out a once party girl, can turn her whole life around and inspire others to choose to look at alcohol differently and even start their own sobriety journey!

sober.jpg

 

From 🍺 booze-hound to 💦 happy & hydrated in 725 days!

7 2 6 Days

1 year

11 months

3 weeks

4 days

103 weeks + 5 days

62,726,400 seconds

1,045,440 minutes

17,424 hours

………………………. since I took my last sip of alcohol!

It’s funny how you outgrow what you once thought you couldn’t live without.

It’s funny how you don’t miss what once was part of your identity.

It’s funny how you can get A D D I C T E D to the feeling of having your SHIT TOGETHER!

It’s funny how I used to be a bad influence. I was the instigator. It’s funny how I used to be THE PARTY GIRL! I was the WILD CHILD! It’s funny how I used to be the person who made fun of sober people because they made me feel uncomfortable. I was an instigator and feared those who I felt were judging me

It’s funny how I’m now an advocate for SOBRIETY. It’s funny how no one has ever tried to make me feel uncomfortable like I used to do to others.

It’s funny how I’m still fun & haven’t lost my wild side. Turns out I didn’t need alcohol to be me.

It’s funny how my priorities have changed, my social circle, my interests and the way I live have changed. It’s funny how much my life has changed as I’ve come to accept the real me and learned how to navigate through my emotions.

From 🍺 booze-hound to 💦 happy & hydrated in 725 days … if I can do it, so can you.

All you need is :

• a strong desire & reason to change

• leverage – what you’ll lose if you don’t change

• a new habit [positive] to replace your addiction

• a vision – what your life will be like because you decided to change your lifestyle & the way your story is written

• a Support system + accountability

• a strong mindset which can be achieved through personal development

I was so excited to go to the Butcher’s Ball with my husband on Sunday.

But…I knew that I’d be in the environment that I used to love … music, food and alcohol. I purposely shared on social media first thing that morning that it was my 102nd sober Sunday to hold me accountable.

When we got there, the weather was right, the smell of the BBQ pits brought back old memories, there was alcohol everywhere and there was a Bloody Mary station. Bloody Mary’s on a Sunday used to be my jam. Then I saw a pineapple 🍍 with a fruity drink in it. It made me want one. Not the alcohol, but the cute drink in the pineapple.

It would have been so easy to drink. Not because I wanted or needed to be drunk, not because I miss alcohol or drinking, but out of habit and trying to recreate the feeling of connection, being carefree and uninhibited.

There was tons of new people. The best part was that it was people we didn’t know and didn’t know us. We had fun together and I had an incredible time sober. I realized that I can have fun at events where there is temptation and that I can enjoy myself with my husband and feel the same way without alcohol.

As the event went on and people had been drinking for 6+ hours, I was reminded of how good it was to be sober.

Some people think I shouldn’t talk so openly about my sobriety or past battles with drugs and alcohol or my mental illness… but I don’t care… talking about it holds me accountable, is therapeutic and helps connect me with others that help me stay on the path I’ve chosen because it’s best for me.

The history of my addiction & recovery

I am a Korean Adoptee, that was adopted by a childless American couple at 9 1/2 months old. I never formed a bond with them, and even though they’d probably never openly admit it, I believe they also struggled with forming a true parent-child bond with me.

Baby-Mindy-Hord-Korean-Adoptee-infant-international-adoption

As an adult who is now a parent, looking back, I will say that they had unrealistic expectations and were overly critical of me. They were “religious” to the highest extreme and used their religious beliefs to control my every thought & move. Both parents were egocentric and narcissistic.

international-adoption-korean-adoptee-adoptee-story

Around age 4, I started displaying signs of mental illness. I was a highly stressed, worry-prone and anxious child. I would break out in hives often and my O.C.D. started to disrupt my life while I was in Kindergarten.

mindy-hord-sober-sobriety-sober-is-the-new-black

I was sexually abused by age 5, by a non-family member, but didn’t feel safe to tell anyone. The physical and emotional/mental abuse began at home around the same time. I suffered silently. I always felt different. I always felt alone. I always felt like something was missing. I desperately sought out a connection with others but did not know how to create & maintain a healthy relationship, since I had never experienced love or connection with anyone. I so badly wanted to fit in, but as an adoptee, my life was one big identity crisis.

mindy-hord-fort-bragg-california-sober-is-sexy

I’m an 80’s kid who grew up when the “Just Say No” ad campaign & the U.S. “War on Drugs” was most prevalent.  What I learned at school, was reinforced at home. I was told to say no to drugs and not to fall to peer pressure, but there was never any real education as to what drugs I would come in contact with and why I should say no, other than you would “fry your brain” as taught via the popular video that showed an egg frying in a frying pan. I have always been a curious person. I always searched for certainty and facts. To be honest, it just made me more curious.

I smoked my first cigarette at age 12. I was scared & it really wasn’t a pleasant experience, but I remember feeling this rush of excitement as I did something on my own free will. I remember feeling cool. I remember feeling in control for once in my life.

At age 13, I was offered Marijuana for the first time. I didn’t feel pressured and since I had never been given any substantial reason to say no, other than I would get in trouble. I said decided to try it and see what it was really about. The first time I got high, I felt like I was floating. I was numb to the pain & stress I had felt my entire life. It was a great feeling. It was like a mental vacation for me. I couldn’t understand why they said drugs were so bad because I felt relief for the first time.

After that, I got addicted to the feeling – the thrill of doing something I wasn’t supposed to, feeling like I belonged to the “in-crowd” and having an escape. Pot led to experimenting with alcohol. I got braver and started drinking during lunch while I was in high school. I thought that I was cool and that my friends & boys would like me better.

I could no longer endure the abuse & the terms in which I was living in so left home at age 15. It felt good to be free and be free, but being on my own at that young age came with so many more challenges and A LOT of guilt from my parents.

mindy-hord-teenage-drinking-teen-drinking-sober-up

I started drinking every night. I had a milk crate full of hard liquor. I would spend my weekends drinking a 12-pack of Budweiser along with a fifth of Jose Cuervo. This led to so many poor choices revolving around men, getting involved with the wrong crowds and heavier use.

pregnant-at-18-teen-pregnancy

My drug and alcohol use came to a screeching halt when I found out I was pregnant with my first child at age 18, but it didn’t take long to return to using alcohol to numb the pain. I struggled with an off-and-on relationship with drugs and became more dependent on alcohol as the years flew by. Drugs and alcohol only provided a temporary fix to my mental anguish and false happiness but left me with a history of bad decisions, failures and a lot of shame. Recreational drug use became habitual drug use. The problem was that I was a functioning drug addict. No one knew. I still went to work. I still took care of my responsibilities. I was a “highly functional druggie”. I could hold conversations, perform my job duties higher than a kite and no one could ever tell. I felt even more in control of my life, knowing that I could find relief to my pain, overcome my social anxiety, and hide what a mess I truly was.

In 2012, I found myself completely lost once again, back at rock bottom and that is when I stumbled across someone and something that would change my life. I found Becky Brossett who introduced me to fitness. I found a new crowd, which consisted of people who were positive, high achievers and pushed me to be a much better version of myself. I started taking care of myself and stopped smoking and stopped drinking. I started overcoming my past. I started to become a better person and forgive myself for the mistakes I had made in the past. I realized I did the best that I could with what I had. I started helping others, which helped me heal myself. The downside to that was that I started to lose myself in others problems. I started to become more of a people pleaser and found myself neglecting my needs to try to fix others. I also had found a new sense of confidence and started digging into my adoption. Searching for my birth family, connecting with other Korean Adoptees and taking a DNA test unlocked some doors that had never been opened and I found myself in a deep dark depression. I tried to ignore it and my drinking became heavier and heavier. Feeling numb to my pain became the thing I searched out the most.

mindy-hord-23-and-me-23andme-DNA-test
To order your DNA kit, click on this link.

Mid-2015, everything came crashing down around me. 2 days after my sons 5th birthday, on June 9th, I found myself facing my 3rd divorce as my husband of 6 years and I were separated and my 2 oldest children moved in with their Dad. I was homeless, living in someone else’s home on an air mattress with my son. I had hit rock bottom once again and couldn’t find any reason to pick myself back up again. I didn’t have the strength.

After a life-changing event, my husband started an intense out-patient treatment program to treat his PTSD. He started to find peace and answers to his problems. He kept encouraging me to do the same as he learned more about mental illness, realizing he had missed all the signs I had displayed for the 8+ years we had been together.

Finally, at the end of August 2015, I checked myself into the same mental health facility, as an inpatient. The day I  voluntarily checked myself in, I was suicidal and completely hopeless & lost.

mental-illness-mental-health-end-the-stigma

7 days later, I was discharged with a new mindset, new lease on life and a new set of coping skills. I continued treatment as an inpatient for several weeks. While in therapy, it became apparent to the therapists that I had formed a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol and was still abusing it as a coping mechanism. I was encouraged to take a look at my behavior and make a decision to change it. It was also pointed out that my anxiety and depression medications became less effective with alcohol consumption.

I wasn’t ready to admit that I had a problem, but by the end of September, I stopped ignoring how much control alcohol had over my life and how it was negatively affecting my life. I set the goal to only drink 5 times in the month of October. I reserved my “partying time” for the end of October because I had plans to visit Miami for a few days.

Miami-drunk-sober
When we arrived in Miami, it was customary to party with our Floridian friends and we were there to celebrate a friends achievement and it just happened to be my husbands 39th birthday. On October 24, 2015, we started drinking early, pre-gaming before the event that began at 5 p.m. We started with beer and red-bull and vodka since we knew we had to stay awake because we had planned to have an after-party at Scarlett’s, our favorite Club in Miami. We continued to drink bottle after bottle of Grey Goose from 5 until we arrived at the Club. (I can’t even remember when we arrived at the Club because I was already so wasted.) I have very limited memory of the time spent at the Club. We left around 2 a.m., but I don’t remember even leaving, although there was a picture of me awake as we waited for the car from the Valet. The next morning I woke up feeling disoriented and not fully aware of my actions from the night before. I felt so much shame and regret. I could not think coherently. I felt brain dead. I declared once and for all on my friends couch that I didn’t ever want to feel this way again. I shared on Facebook that I made the decision to get sober.

decision-to-get-sober

I have not had a sip of alcohol since around 2 a.m the morning of October 25, 2015. It hasn’t been easy, but I believe getting sober was the best birthday present I could ever give my husband and the best gift I could give my children and myself.

Getting sober has been challenging in ways I never imagined. It has been humbling & extremely eye-opening on so many levels. I have had to learn who the real me is for the first time in my life. I have had to create new habits and routines. I have had to re-evaluate relationships I had. I have had to 100% feel all the feelings that I had ignored and avoided my whole life. I have had to rediscover how to do everything sober. I have had to remind myself nearly every day why I can never go back to drinking..because that one drink today would easily become a case of beer, maybe not in a month, but most definitely within 6 months.

I have held myself publicly accountable and shared my journey openly since day 1, which at first, much to my surprise inspired and influenced others to take a look at their relationship with alcohol and decide to start their sobriety journey too. If it weren’t for the sober community, which turns out to be bigger and more supportive than I ever imagined, I could not have made it as far as I have. I am thankful for everyone who has supported me and kept me inspired along my journey to staying 100% sober. I now can say I am truly living life to its fullest and all my fears that I felt regarding sobriety were completely invalid.

Because of this, I have decided to pursue a Life Coach and Recovery Coach Certification so I can continue to pay it forward.

If you are reading this story and any of it resonates with you, let’s connect. You are not alone. We are not alone. If I can get sober, anyone can. I promise it’s worth it.

Mindy-Hord-Sober-is-the-new-black.jpg

My Interview

I was contacted by TheNativeSociety.com and asked to give an interview.  TheNativeSociety.com serves to connect inspirational content with aspirational readers. They have over 3,000 interviews to date.

I wanted to share with my readers. [Click on this link to visit the Native Society and view my interview]

Mindy Hord-255

What do I do best?
I feel that the thing I do best is I listen and my strength is that I have a good intuition when it comes to people. People come to me for advice because they know I will be honest and forthright with them. People know I have a heart that wants to help, so they often share their problems with me, looking for my insight into their situation.
Part of what makes me an excellent listener is my intuition, but I also ask a lot of questions whenever I am getting to know someone. My goal is never to just be an acquaintance, but to really get to know you and hopefully become one of your closest friends.

If you were to meet me, at first you might not think I am capable of being a good listener.  Living with A.D.D. since childhood I am known to be incredibly impulsive, by randomly blurting out whatever is on my mind. I am a chronic interrupter and almost always switch gears mid-conversation. You would think that these behaviors would impair my ability to listen. My mind seems to have a million thoughts flooding through it every minute. My mind is able to process several things at once, which is why I interrupt a lot.  I am ridiculously observant and attentive, for what appears to be someone who has a short attention span. I also have the gift of remembering things about people and things they have said.

Since I was a toddler, my memory and ability to observe even the slightest changes in an instant, always shocked & impressed adults. I consider myself a great people-person, although I have struggled with relationships my entire life, I believe due to being an adoptee, who was raised by narcissistic adoptive parents. I have always been able to observe people’s behaviors, mannerisms, and body language and be able to tell a lot about them just from observing them. It was part of my survival instincts so to speak. I have always been a very curious person, so it is quite common to find me, asking a stranger tons of questions, that may appear to others that I am interrogating them, but it is just my way of getting to know them, assessing them and the best part is, 99% of the time, people will tell you that I am easy to open up to and easy to trust. I remember every detail about someone’s life and stories they’ve told me. What my husband describes me as “getting into people’s heads”, is what I describe it as “drawing people out”. Strangers open up to me, tell me their troubles, secrets, stories they’ve never told out loud. I love to help people. I love to make them feel like they matter, are important and I love to help people.

What makes me the best version of myself?
I’ve been called stubborn and headstrong all my life. I used to think that was a bad thing, until I learned that what people labeled as stubborn and headstrong was really just RELENTLESSNESS. When the world is going left, I have always been the one to ask “WHY?” and if it didn’t make sense to me, I would go right. As a child I was asked why I always had to go against the grain. One would say that I marched to the beat of my own drum. I was called bossy. I didn’t understand what they meant when I was a child, but now as an adult I realize, that I was just paving my own way.  I was a leader, who people tried to force in a box. I am a rule follower UNLESS the rule makes no sense. If an explanation cannot be provided, then the rebel in me comes out. I have embraced who I am and trust my intuition and that it will lead me on the right path. My relentlessness has been my guiding force, that has kept me from giving up, no matter how hard the challenges were that I faced.

What are my aspirations?
Growing up my only aspiration was to “be happy”. As a young adult, I thought that happiness meant making others happy, but now as an adult who has put a lot of work in to my own personal growth, I now know that I am in control of my happiness and the first person who’s happiness, matters is my own. I aspire to live a long, happy and healthy life and to see my children succeed at being happy with who they are and doing what they love. Professionally, my goals are to publish 2 books, one about my life as a Korean Adoptee and one about my sobriety journey that began in October 2015. (I currently am working on the start of my first book). I plan on staying in the health and fitness industry as a coach, but want to expand what I do to include life-coaching, helping people get out of their own way, by discovering their limiting beliefs that have sabotaged their success and happiness. And my ultimate goal is to become a “Motivational Speaker”. I want to share my story and continue to inspire others to believe in themselves.


My Biggest Success?
My biggest success has been my sobriety. It took a lot of self-reflection, self-awareness, humility, and vulnerability to make the decision to get sober in October 2015, after years of dealing with many forms of addiction (including drug and unhealthy, codependent relationships). I have shared my journey from day 1 and it’s helped me stay accountable as well as help others who desire to become free from their addictions. It’s been a challenging yet eye-opening journey, but it has been worth every step.

My Most Challenging Moment?
I have had many challenging moments in my life, but one of the hardest things I have had to overcome was my alcohol addiction. I chose to get sober on October 25, 2015, which I should have done sooner. It has not been an easy journey and it has been full of obstacles that I didn’t foresee, but it has been 100% worth it. It’s been an uphill battle recreating my routines in a life absent of alcohol. After years of drugs and alcohol addiction, partying became part of my identity and my whole life began to revolve around it, so I have had to reestablish new routines, new friendships and get to know the real me. The blessings and rewards that have come with sobriety far outweigh the challenges that I have faced.


My Motto?
These are my CORE PRINCIPLES – the mantra’s that I live by, the non-negotiables in my life that have become my code of conduct as I have matured and found my purpose.

• Always look for the good in others & always look for the life lesson, no matter how hopeless a situation feels, because there is ALWAYS a silver lining.

• Be honest ALWAYS. Have integrity ALWAYS. ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING!

• Do not give up. Be RELENTLESS. Where there’s a will there’s a way. There isn’t anything you can’t fix!

• Forgive, even if you weren’t asked to. Always apologize!

• Continue to go left when the rest of the world is going right. There is nothing wrong with that! Be YOU, unapologetically YOU!
My Favorite People/Role Models?
As a child, I had no role models. I didn’t know anyone who was successful. I didn’t think that I would or could ever be successful. I didn’t have any role models,  until l I started working on myself in 2012. I started diving into “personal development’ books, courses, and seminars and started studying successful people. I have “mentors” who have greatly impacted my life. Becky Brossett, who introduced me to fitness and thinking BIG was my first role model, that I found at age 31 and to date, is still one of my favorite people. Well known, “motivational speakers” Craig Holiday and Dani Johnson are who made me a believer of investing in myself and helped me see that my past mistakes and failures did not inhibit my ability to succeed, only mind mindset stood in the way. Many other motivational speakers and authors, such as John C. Maxwell, Brene Brown and Charlene Johnson have had a great impact on my mindset and life. But my top 2 favorite people who I look up to the most are Tony Robbins and Carl Daikeler (CEO of Beachbody). These two men have integrity that I highly respect. Their hearts are incredible. They inspire me to be a better person.

My Favorite Places/Destinations?
I haven’t traveled the world, but I have been to many “tropical” destinations, such as Hawaii, Cancun, Cozumel, The Dominican Republic, The Grand Cayman, The Bahamas and Jamaica, but my all-time favorite vacation destination is Destin, Florida. It is where my husband & I honeymooned. It is where we have vacationed kidless and as a family. I love the water and sand & food there. I couldn’t live there, but I could easily vacation there several times a year.

My Favorite Products/Objects?
The one materialistic item that I would not want to live without are my iPhone and MacBook Air. It is how I stay connected with the world. They are tools that give me a voice and the ability to reach many worldwide, sharing my story. They are how I operate my business. And truth be told, I am a sucker for Apple products.

My Current Passion?
My passion has always been people: seeking out love & connection and helping others. For the past 5 1/2 years, fitness has become something I am deeply passionate about as well. My recreation for the majority of my adult life was centered around my social life, a life of partying. Since getting sober, I have found a passion for paddle boarding. I love being on the water. And I love fitness. I feel like paddle boarding is a great mix of relaxation and provides a great workout. I have become a little obsessed with it and tying new things, now that I am sober.

 

If you are reading this and would like to connect, you can find me at www.fb.com/coachmindyhord or www.ig.com/sobermommovement or www.youtube.com/mindyhord or by email at coachmhord@gmail.com.