How I know I can’t ever drink again….

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I remember how hard it was to make the decision that there’d be a day 1.

I remember celebrating everyday, every milestone, every victory.

Looking back, the first year was the easiest. I was hellbent on proving to myself that it could be done. I had to prove to myself that I was strong. It was a year full of ah-ha moments & a deeper self-discovery. It was a journey into the unknown.

I spent most of year 1 avoiding things because I didn’t think I was strong enough.

Year 2 I realized I needed to face temptations instead of just avoiding them. Year 2 could be said to be easier, only because I knew what to expect & had already started to create a routine that hinged around sobriety. But year 2 I was faced with trying to figure out who the fuck sober Mindy was as a person & as a wife. I changed. My moral compass changed. My interests changed. And I had to feel my feelings and deal with my thoughts 100%. No escaping. No avoiding. No numbing myself.

Year 2 I’ve caught myself more often than you realize fantasizing about having “just one drink”, dipping a toe into a life with alcohol, wondering what a sip of a beer or a glass of champagne would taste like. It’s like there’s this constant battle between the devil and angel that sit on each shoulder. It happens when I’m sitting alone, when I’m driving and even in my dreams.

Alcohol creates so many issues & masks so many peoples problems & ruins lives, but I understand that not everyone has a problem with alcohol or drug use like I have had a history with.

But there’s these moments of clarity that remind me of why I’ve remained sober for 800 days.

Sunday night as we were watching an episode of Dexter, there was a scene where his brother shows up to talk with 2 porterhouse steaks and a SIX PACK of beer. I mentally roll my eyes and think to myself, “WTF! What a bunch of pussies. What guy would only drink 3 beers?” And just like that I was smacked in the face with the fact that I am in fact someone who cannot have a “healthy” relationship with booze of any kind. I tell Ryan what went through my head. Rebel says “What would you bring? A 12-pack?” My response, “Nope! No less than a case …. and this is why I can never drink again!”

…. sure I could probably drink and stick to 1-2 drinks, but easily in 6-12 months, I’d be that chick buying a case of beer a day. I’ve come way to far to go backwards.

Goodbye 2017! Hello 2018!

And just like that, at the stroke of midnight, we said goodbye to 2017.

As I reflect back on my 36th year of my life, I’m extremely grateful.

2017 brought some unexpected twists and turns.

2017 was weird, challenging, tragic and an eye-opener.

The dynamics of the world changed & the world was struck with so many tragic events & natural disasters.

The highlights of my 2017….

. I started the first month off with a visit from Robin & Hailey & Lou who were here in TX on my birthday and our team celebrated the victorious comeback we made in 2016

.. In March, Ryan, Haylie, Rebel & I spent 6 days in Los Angeles together with friends. I got to see Rebel’s excitement, on his first commercial flight and together we had the most incredible time at the Tony Robbins event Unleash the Power Within. It was an experience I’ll never forget.

… In April Ryan & I celebrated our 8th anniversary in Honolulu, Hawaii, something we’d been dreaming of for years. I rode in a helicopter for the first time in my life & was able to check that off my bucket list.

…. 2 weeks after returning from Hawaii, I was able to take my family on our first family trip outside of the 🇺🇸 to Punta Cana. We snorkeled and swam with sharks 🦈 and stingrays.

….. in May, I celebrated my BFF ‘Manda’s birthday and 13 years of friendship 💜💕, had the honor and privilege of being selected for The Shift Shop Coach Test Group 2017 and then got to spend a whole week with my best friend, coach and mentor Becky in Miami and then attended EntreLeadership for the first time in Orlando.

…… in July, Rebel & I drove to New Orleans, Louisiana to attend my 5th “Summit” our annual coach meetup and got to spend several days with Hailey and The RELENTLESS Squad. Rebel got to see me recognized on stage in front of tens of thousands of coaches and making him proud was the best feeling ever! 💙 Later that month Ryan went to Unleash The Power Within – in New York, which proved to be something that had a great impact on our family and marriage.

…… this summer I finally decided to write a book about my life. I shouted it out to the Universe and got started on it. It’s scary to commit to something like that, but 2018 my word is FINISH. So I WILL finish it!

……. in August I took a trip solo to visit Lou in Charlotte, North Carolina for Labor Day weekend where I spent 6 days just relaxing and learning to let go of my workaholic ways & came back feeling centered and more in balance.

……… in September we celebrated my firstborn Haylie’s 18th birthday. It was purely emotional. The fact that she’s half my age and that 18 years flew by as fast as it has was so surreal. We spent the day jumping out of an airplane together (her, Ryan and I), which was symbolic on so many levels.

……… I took a position with a local company Brenham Kitchens which has given me the opportunity to get out of the house and meet new people 4-6 times a month and it’s been a fun experience for Rebel and I!

………. in October after being chosen to be part of the 80 Day Obsession Test Group, I successfully completed the 13-Week program and learned so much about myself, nutrition, my own capabilities and discovered a lot about some of the health issues I was facing.

………… in November, I attended my 5th Leadership Retreat, which was fully paid for by Beachbody based on my level of commitment and hard work and stayed at the ARIA Resort & Casino & had an incredible time with the leaders who had also qualified to attend.

………… I survived my 2nd birthday, a trip to my favorite party city (NOLA), my 3rd holiday season and faced lots of challenging & frustrating experiences & learned to attend events where alcohol was present and remained 100% SOBER! I celebrated my 798th day of sobriety on 12/31/17.

In 2017, I traveled a lot. I spent a lot of alone time doing soul searching. I reconnected with my husband as we rediscovered one another, as I became more comfortable with my sobriety. I learned to lean in, instead of avoiding uncomfortable feelings and situations. I learned to cope without alcohol and find peace with who I truly am. I learned how to let go of the things I could not and had no right to control. I learned how to ask for & accept help. I learned to say no when I needed to take care of me. I learned to face my fears. I learned to say yes to the people and things that served me. I learned how to let my guard down and give more love to receive love. I learned to stop chasing shiny things. I learned how to put myself first, my family second and my work/business third. I learned to accept that there is a higher power and discovered my spiritual side. I learned to forgive those who did the best with what they knew and had to give even if their actions caused me pain at once. I learned how to stop trying to fix things for people who didn’t ask for help. I learned so much about myself in 2017 and I know I wouldn’t have made the process I did had I not chosen to get sober on