How I know I can’t ever drink again….

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I remember how hard it was to make the decision that there’d be a day 1.

I remember celebrating everyday, every milestone, every victory.

Looking back, the first year was the easiest. I was hellbent on proving to myself that it could be done. I had to prove to myself that I was strong. It was a year full of ah-ha moments & a deeper self-discovery. It was a journey into the unknown.

I spent most of year 1 avoiding things because I didn’t think I was strong enough.

Year 2 I realized I needed to face temptations instead of just avoiding them. Year 2 could be said to be easier, only because I knew what to expect & had already started to create a routine that hinged around sobriety. But year 2 I was faced with trying to figure out who the fuck sober Mindy was as a person & as a wife. I changed. My moral compass changed. My interests changed. And I had to feel my feelings and deal with my thoughts 100%. No escaping. No avoiding. No numbing myself.

Year 2 I’ve caught myself more often than you realize fantasizing about having “just one drink”, dipping a toe into a life with alcohol, wondering what a sip of a beer or a glass of champagne would taste like. It’s like there’s this constant battle between the devil and angel that sit on each shoulder. It happens when I’m sitting alone, when I’m driving and even in my dreams.

Alcohol creates so many issues & masks so many peoples problems & ruins lives, but I understand that not everyone has a problem with alcohol or drug use like I have had a history with.

But there’s these moments of clarity that remind me of why I’ve remained sober for 800 days.

Sunday night as we were watching an episode of Dexter, there was a scene where his brother shows up to talk with 2 porterhouse steaks and a SIX PACK of beer. I mentally roll my eyes and think to myself, “WTF! What a bunch of pussies. What guy would only drink 3 beers?” And just like that I was smacked in the face with the fact that I am in fact someone who cannot have a “healthy” relationship with booze of any kind. I tell Ryan what went through my head. Rebel says “What would you bring? A 12-pack?” My response, “Nope! No less than a case …. and this is why I can never drink again!”

…. sure I could probably drink and stick to 1-2 drinks, but easily in 6-12 months, I’d be that chick buying a case of beer a day. I’ve come way to far to go backwards.

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Happy Sober Anniversary to Me!

I will never forget my sobriety date: October 25th.
Why? Because it’s my husbands birthday.

Today he celebrates his 41st birthday and today I celebrate the greatest gift I could have given him, our marriage, our family and our future – MY SOBRIETY!

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When I decided to get sober I was scared.
I was scared that people would laugh at me, abandon me, think I was a sell out to my old lifestyle and that I’d be all alone in my battle against my addiction.

It turns out that I was wrong. DEAD WRONG.

I have had nothing but support from old friends and lots of new friends.

Let’s just say that the sober community is a lot more supportive than party friends.

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I walked outside earlier to find a delivery 📦 box. I opened it up and found this gorgeous bouquet and a loving message from my dearest friend Jennifer. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️


My best friend, sober sister and business partner, Melissa, posted this amazing picture of us from last October when she was 30 days sober and we were attending an event in Coronado Bay, together SOBER for the first time, along with this sweet message. 

“Sober people are boring.

Sober people are lame.

Sober people get left out.

Thoughts we both shared.

Fears we both shared.

When I “met” Mindy Hord in 2013, I was instantly drawn to her party girl nature. She had a tagline about being fit and drinking beer…. Hello, I loved beer, I needed to be fit…. it was genius to me!

I got to know her through the Internet… And we’ve become the best of friends… Two years ago today she made a decision that would not only impact her life but her children’s as well… I’ve always been inspired by her strength and knew that this woman could do anything that she said her mind to… The road to Sobriety can sometimes be lonely… She was one of the first people I called when I made the decision to get sober…. I watched her for a whole year and thought how STRONG she was…..she had been there for many conversations about me quitting drinking before but I never got serious about it… Shes work hard on finding her way, I’ve seen her grow in ways she may not even realize…..She’s been a friend, a sister, A mentor, and a pillar of hope on my journey….I’m honored to know her, to share so many incredible milestones and memories with her that we remember and don’t have to delete any sloppy pictures … I’m proud to say we aren’t boring at all! How lucky are we to have such a special friendship that empowers one another to be our absolute BEST!

Next week we will meet in Las Vegas… AKA in City and be toasting our sparkling waters to the success of our teams and celebrating huge milestones in our sobriety… Congrats my friend I am beyond proud of you two years is MAJOR!!!

You continue to empower others to make changes in their lives just by being your authentic RELENTLESS self.”

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Today marks 2 years since I decided to break up with alcohol.

I grew up in a household where alcohol was always present. We had a liquor cabinet in our house. My Mom always drank wine. My paternal grandparents had a liquor cabinet and always brought alcohol on every trip they took me on. My grandpa brewed his own beer. My parents and grandparents loved visiting wineries & going on wine tastings… living in the wine country in Northern California it was normal. I remember alcohol being ordered every time we ate out. I remember finding alcohol stashed in the medicine cabinet of my maternal grandma. I remember my dad always joking that it was 🍺 Beer:30. I remember my Mom making wine coolers & letting me taste it. I remember taking sips off of my grandpas’ beer. Yet I don’t remember seeing any of them “drunk”, but I distinctly remember the times when I knew they had “had too much”.

I think back on all of the times I drank and drank to excess in front of my kids and wonder how it’ll affect them in the long run. All I know is that they were monumental in my decision to get sober.

 

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Today is day 731 of my sobriety journey…
I can’t believe it’s been exactly 2 years since I declared my DECISION to get 100% sober.
It was a decision that I had put a lot of thought into.
But, I had put more thought into talking myself out of it.
I was so comfortable being numb. 
It was terrifying to let go of a security blanket I had been holding on to since I was a teenager.
I started drinking REGULARLY at age 15 when I left home on December 2, 1996. 20 years later on October 25, 2017, I finally parted ways with the most toxic and longest relationship I had maintained.

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Teen drinking is very bad.
It’s just a start to a lifetime of bad habits.
Luckily, my children don’t want to have a relationship with alcohol or drugs after hearing my story and being affected by my poor choices.
Although I’m not proud of my past or my mistakes, I’d gladly do it all over again if it meant that I’d deal with the pain and regret to shield my kids from making the same bad decisions.

 

As I was going through old pictures this week, I found all of these old pictures that represent the old me. I am wearing a fake smile in many. I may appear awake, but I was dead inside. I was there in body, but totally not present. I appeared to be the life of the party, but I was totally numb.

Around 1-2 a.m. on this day, 2 years ago, after HOURS of drinking and countless beers, several bottles of Grey Goose and whiskey, I was leaving a club in Miami, totally incoherent, totally sloppy drunk. I still don’t remember having anything that happened past midnight that night.

After a few hours of sleep, I woke up, feeling brain dead and made the declaration of my need to get sober. I shouted it out to the universe to make it real and held myself publicly accountable because it wasn’t the first time I had said I was going to get sober.

October has always been a memorable and monumental month for me.

On October 20, 1981, I entered the United States of America for the first time. On the 21st, I was handed over to strangers. On the 22nd, I was brought into a new house, that I was to call “home”.

On October 23, 2008, I was proposed to for the first time and agreed to marry my best friend who’s birthday was 2 days later and agreed to become officially “step-mom” to Hunter who’s birthday was on the 24th.

So now October 25 has become extra special. It’s not only the day the love of my life was born but today it marks TWO YEARS of SOBRIETY.

731 days of fighting old habits, old behaviors, old routines, old addictions.
731 days of celebrations. Every day I found something to celebrate and focused on the things I COULD do that I never did or couldn’t or wouldn’t do if I had still been drinking.
731 days of inner struggles.
731 days being counted one day at a time.
731 days of learning who the REAL Mindy Hord is.
731 days of CLARITY.
731 days of MINIMAL “arguments” with Ryan.
731 days of being FULLY present.

Turns out I am fun. Turns out I don’t need to have a drink to have fun. Turns out I can say no to social gatherings I don’t wanna attend vs getting buzzed in order for me to go. Turns out there are more sober people than I ever knew existed because I used to avoid people like “that”. They made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t understand them and didn’t want to. Turns out a once party girl, can turn her whole life around and inspire others to choose to look at alcohol differently and even start their own sobriety journey!

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My Interview

I was contacted by TheNativeSociety.com and asked to give an interview.  TheNativeSociety.com serves to connect inspirational content with aspirational readers. They have over 3,000 interviews to date.

I wanted to share with my readers. [Click on this link to visit the Native Society and view my interview]

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What do I do best?
I feel that the thing I do best is I listen and my strength is that I have a good intuition when it comes to people. People come to me for advice because they know I will be honest and forthright with them. People know I have a heart that wants to help, so they often share their problems with me, looking for my insight into their situation.
Part of what makes me an excellent listener is my intuition, but I also ask a lot of questions whenever I am getting to know someone. My goal is never to just be an acquaintance, but to really get to know you and hopefully become one of your closest friends.

If you were to meet me, at first you might not think I am capable of being a good listener.  Living with A.D.D. since childhood I am known to be incredibly impulsive, by randomly blurting out whatever is on my mind. I am a chronic interrupter and almost always switch gears mid-conversation. You would think that these behaviors would impair my ability to listen. My mind seems to have a million thoughts flooding through it every minute. My mind is able to process several things at once, which is why I interrupt a lot.  I am ridiculously observant and attentive, for what appears to be someone who has a short attention span. I also have the gift of remembering things about people and things they have said.

Since I was a toddler, my memory and ability to observe even the slightest changes in an instant, always shocked & impressed adults. I consider myself a great people-person, although I have struggled with relationships my entire life, I believe due to being an adoptee, who was raised by narcissistic adoptive parents. I have always been able to observe people’s behaviors, mannerisms, and body language and be able to tell a lot about them just from observing them. It was part of my survival instincts so to speak. I have always been a very curious person, so it is quite common to find me, asking a stranger tons of questions, that may appear to others that I am interrogating them, but it is just my way of getting to know them, assessing them and the best part is, 99% of the time, people will tell you that I am easy to open up to and easy to trust. I remember every detail about someone’s life and stories they’ve told me. What my husband describes me as “getting into people’s heads”, is what I describe it as “drawing people out”. Strangers open up to me, tell me their troubles, secrets, stories they’ve never told out loud. I love to help people. I love to make them feel like they matter, are important and I love to help people.

What makes me the best version of myself?
I’ve been called stubborn and headstrong all my life. I used to think that was a bad thing, until I learned that what people labeled as stubborn and headstrong was really just RELENTLESSNESS. When the world is going left, I have always been the one to ask “WHY?” and if it didn’t make sense to me, I would go right. As a child I was asked why I always had to go against the grain. One would say that I marched to the beat of my own drum. I was called bossy. I didn’t understand what they meant when I was a child, but now as an adult I realize, that I was just paving my own way.  I was a leader, who people tried to force in a box. I am a rule follower UNLESS the rule makes no sense. If an explanation cannot be provided, then the rebel in me comes out. I have embraced who I am and trust my intuition and that it will lead me on the right path. My relentlessness has been my guiding force, that has kept me from giving up, no matter how hard the challenges were that I faced.

What are my aspirations?
Growing up my only aspiration was to “be happy”. As a young adult, I thought that happiness meant making others happy, but now as an adult who has put a lot of work in to my own personal growth, I now know that I am in control of my happiness and the first person who’s happiness, matters is my own. I aspire to live a long, happy and healthy life and to see my children succeed at being happy with who they are and doing what they love. Professionally, my goals are to publish 2 books, one about my life as a Korean Adoptee and one about my sobriety journey that began in October 2015. (I currently am working on the start of my first book). I plan on staying in the health and fitness industry as a coach, but want to expand what I do to include life-coaching, helping people get out of their own way, by discovering their limiting beliefs that have sabotaged their success and happiness. And my ultimate goal is to become a “Motivational Speaker”. I want to share my story and continue to inspire others to believe in themselves.


My Biggest Success?
My biggest success has been my sobriety. It took a lot of self-reflection, self-awareness, humility, and vulnerability to make the decision to get sober in October 2015, after years of dealing with many forms of addiction (including drug and unhealthy, codependent relationships). I have shared my journey from day 1 and it’s helped me stay accountable as well as help others who desire to become free from their addictions. It’s been a challenging yet eye-opening journey, but it has been worth every step.

My Most Challenging Moment?
I have had many challenging moments in my life, but one of the hardest things I have had to overcome was my alcohol addiction. I chose to get sober on October 25, 2015, which I should have done sooner. It has not been an easy journey and it has been full of obstacles that I didn’t foresee, but it has been 100% worth it. It’s been an uphill battle recreating my routines in a life absent of alcohol. After years of drugs and alcohol addiction, partying became part of my identity and my whole life began to revolve around it, so I have had to reestablish new routines, new friendships and get to know the real me. The blessings and rewards that have come with sobriety far outweigh the challenges that I have faced.


My Motto?
These are my CORE PRINCIPLES – the mantra’s that I live by, the non-negotiables in my life that have become my code of conduct as I have matured and found my purpose.

• Always look for the good in others & always look for the life lesson, no matter how hopeless a situation feels, because there is ALWAYS a silver lining.

• Be honest ALWAYS. Have integrity ALWAYS. ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING!

• Do not give up. Be RELENTLESS. Where there’s a will there’s a way. There isn’t anything you can’t fix!

• Forgive, even if you weren’t asked to. Always apologize!

• Continue to go left when the rest of the world is going right. There is nothing wrong with that! Be YOU, unapologetically YOU!
My Favorite People/Role Models?
As a child, I had no role models. I didn’t know anyone who was successful. I didn’t think that I would or could ever be successful. I didn’t have any role models,  until l I started working on myself in 2012. I started diving into “personal development’ books, courses, and seminars and started studying successful people. I have “mentors” who have greatly impacted my life. Becky Brossett, who introduced me to fitness and thinking BIG was my first role model, that I found at age 31 and to date, is still one of my favorite people. Well known, “motivational speakers” Craig Holiday and Dani Johnson are who made me a believer of investing in myself and helped me see that my past mistakes and failures did not inhibit my ability to succeed, only mind mindset stood in the way. Many other motivational speakers and authors, such as John C. Maxwell, Brene Brown and Charlene Johnson have had a great impact on my mindset and life. But my top 2 favorite people who I look up to the most are Tony Robbins and Carl Daikeler (CEO of Beachbody). These two men have integrity that I highly respect. Their hearts are incredible. They inspire me to be a better person.

My Favorite Places/Destinations?
I haven’t traveled the world, but I have been to many “tropical” destinations, such as Hawaii, Cancun, Cozumel, The Dominican Republic, The Grand Cayman, The Bahamas and Jamaica, but my all-time favorite vacation destination is Destin, Florida. It is where my husband & I honeymooned. It is where we have vacationed kidless and as a family. I love the water and sand & food there. I couldn’t live there, but I could easily vacation there several times a year.

My Favorite Products/Objects?
The one materialistic item that I would not want to live without are my iPhone and MacBook Air. It is how I stay connected with the world. They are tools that give me a voice and the ability to reach many worldwide, sharing my story. They are how I operate my business. And truth be told, I am a sucker for Apple products.

My Current Passion?
My passion has always been people: seeking out love & connection and helping others. For the past 5 1/2 years, fitness has become something I am deeply passionate about as well. My recreation for the majority of my adult life was centered around my social life, a life of partying. Since getting sober, I have found a passion for paddle boarding. I love being on the water. And I love fitness. I feel like paddle boarding is a great mix of relaxation and provides a great workout. I have become a little obsessed with it and tying new things, now that I am sober.

 

If you are reading this and would like to connect, you can find me at www.fb.com/coachmindyhord or www.ig.com/sobermommovement or www.youtube.com/mindyhord or by email at coachmhord@gmail.com.

5 Reasons Why

5 Reasons Why

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5 Reasons Why to Get Sober

Let’s do something fun today!

I love this exercise. It is good to do to remind yourself of how far you’ve come and a great exercise when the cravings and temptations become unreal.

Let’s list 5 things that you thought you’d miss, the things you feel you had to “sacrifice” (or let’s use the word limit) because of your lifestyle change AND then list 5 things you have to gain (or maybe have already gained!) from this getting sober! I bet we’ll all see how much more we have to gain than what we’ve given up 🙂 Excited to see these!

1 • I was afraid I’d be no fun & be boring
2 • I was afraid I’d lose my friends
3 • I was afraid I’d have no social life
4 • I was afraid I’d lose my identity
5 • I was afraid people would make fun of me

Turns out that I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol, but I’ve spent the past 700 days trying new things, stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing things the old drunk-Mindy would have never considered doing. I am far from boring. Looking back, doing the same thing [getting smashed every weekend] over and over was the definition of boring. I lost people in my life and my social life changed, but it just reinforced who was my real friend who truly cared if I got better and supported me. I did lose part of my identity, but I didn’t lose who I was, I just lost a “security blanket” which caused me to work hard to find my self and learn who I was, which I like a whole lot better than party-girl-Mindy. Only one person has made fun of me to my face and called me boring, but when it was said, I just laughed because I had just came back from Los Angeles where I attended Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within where you are pushed WAY out of your comfort zone in an arena of nearly 10k people, pushing past their limiting beliefs and Hawaii, where I met new people, tried new food, flew in a helicopter for the first time and since then I have been out of the country where I snorkeled in Punta Cana, swam with stingrays and sharks and just recently I went skydiving…to me, those are not things someone who is boring would do.. But then again “boring” is subjective, depending on the persons perspective. I know see, doing the same thing, being found at the same place weekend after weekend [my old life], is what I consider boring.

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What I have gained since getting sober 700 days ago:

1 • More time now that I am spending less time getting drunk or recovering from a hangover
2 • More money now that I am not buying beer every day and then spending my money foolishly while under the influence.
3 • I make better decisions
4 • My relationships with my family members have improved now that I am not always tired/irritable from recovering from a hangover and now that they get my full attention vs. alcohol getting my attention
5 • I take better care of myself and respect my body and have a sense of pride that I have never felt before

……..And I have met a TON of new people who are part of the sobriety community that inspires me daily and helps keep me accountable to my goal of staying sober. To join my private group, click on this link. 

If you are reading this we should definitely connect on Social Media – You can find me on Facebook, Instagram or YouTube

One book that has greatly helped me, that I recently was gifted by Sarah Ordo is Sober As F**K. I highly recommend it. Click here to order your copy.

 

Sober is the New Black

My name is Mindy. I started my first blog in 2013. I didn’t know what I was doing then and to be quite honest, I still don’t feel like I know what I am doing. The more I blogged, the more the words that had been trapped in my head flowed. The words began to flow more freely. As time went by, I became more comfortable with sharing my story, my life, my struggles, my insecurities, my dirty past.

As I shared more about my life and the self-discoveries I made on my path to become a better version of myself and heal, I was shocked at how many people reached out to me with similar stories, thanking me for sharing my truths.

Over the years many have suggested that I should write a book. I shrugged it off, every time it was brought up. Why? I didn’t feel qualified to write a book. I didn’t think anyone would read it. I didn’t know where to even start. I was scared & still am [terrified] about putting ALL of my life out ALL at once, for the world to judge me, for my kids to read.

I recently have taken the time to get clear and become specific about what I want for my future and what I want to accomplish in this lifetime. It became clear that I wanted to work towards becoming a motivational speaker, life coach, and author.

Once I put my vision on paper, the Universe started showing up and pointing me in the direction of my dreams.

I have been paralyzed with fear. Is it possible to have writer’s block before you even get started writing a book?

I post frequently (daily) on Social Media (IG: @Sobermommovement Facebook: Mindy Hord),  but I haven’t blogged in awhile, so I decided to get back in the swing of things. I decided to start a new blog, which will also serve as a place to connect with others who have been inspired by my journey towards sobriety and those who are looking for inspiration & support. I have given myself a 9-month deadline to get my first draft written. My book will be primarily about my journey to sobriety that began on October 25, 2015, but you will learn more about me and my life as a Korean Adoptee and my quest to become a better version of myself that prompted me to get sober.

If you are on your journey towards sobriety and looking for support or are looking for help in getting sober, please do not hesitate to reach out to me via email or social media.

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